This post has been in the making for some time now...my
heart knew it was time, but until this past Sunday my head was telling me that
I was being 'radical.' Radical....what's so wrong with that? Actually, I think
I'm merely being smart; protective perhaps. I'm getting ahead of myself so
let's start at the start (which is a very good place to start!~said someone, in
some movie...). A month or two ago I noticed a nasty little habit I had
acquired; in all honestly it has been years in the making, but I just now
noticed it. I realized I was checking my Facebook (via my iPhone app)
constantly...not occasionally, but CONSTANTLY...so annoying. All day long,
during breaks, on the potty (yeah I went there--you know you do it too--or
maybe you're still doing Words with Friends in the restroom?...anyway), in the
car, first thing in the morning before I got out of bed--did you see the part
where I spelled 'constantly' in all caps?? I was maybe checking FB for a
combined hour each day. But unlike most folks, I was rarely checking in on old
friends from school (unless they popped up in my feed), or trying to reconnect
with distant relatives, which is why I created an account in the first
place. With every swipe to Unlock and
tap to login, my narcissism grew. Ugh...it feels like word vomit admitting
that...admitting how self-absorbed I was over a silly social network:
"I wonder how many people have 'liked' that picture I
posted 10 minutes ago?"
"Did anyone think that status update was funny?"
"That is my best profile picture yet. Wonder who else
will think so?"
"Ah!!--I can’t get over how beautiful our child is!
Maybe just one more picture today!"
..and so on, and so on, and so on...At this point I’m
hoping you all are thinking "Oh wow. I do that too!" and not
"Whoa, this chick is crazy." Promise I’m not crazy. I’m simply a
stay-at-home mom, who literally STAYS at home, as my husband and I share a
vehicle in the winter (he drives a scooter in the warmer months), and sadly FB
sometimes is the only 'adult interaction/adult conversation' that I get until
he comes home each day. Of course I talk to girlfriends during the day, but
most work, are in college, or have their own babies to take care of...plus it’s
easier to parent, do laundry, wash clothes, and have a conversation when you
can do it on your own terms (picking up your phone and going to your Facebook
app). Anyway, I deleted the app from my phone. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it
sucked...only for a day or two. But I felt free. Not to mention that I gained
at least an hour of time each day, that would have been wasted on my narcissism...it
still stings when I say that...my shoulders almost touch my ears as I wince at
the word.
Back to my "A-ha! moment" from this past Sunday. A
lady in church, that I have the highest regard for; absolutely love her family,
stood and gave a word about the Trojan Horse Mentality: "Accepting
something into your life that looks good and well on the outside, but carries
the potential to destroy on the inside" (not sure if this is an actual psychological/religious/philosophical
term, but sounds good, eh?). The first thing that sprang from my spirit was
"Facebook! It's my Trojan horse!" and then my mind automatically told
me I was 'stupid and needed to listen to the prophetic word and dig deeper for
its meaning, concerning me'...but my spirit wouldn't relent. So I listened to
it. And I found truth. Now, if this, against great great odds, should somehow fall
into the laps of the Facebook big-wigs let me cover myself by saying that
Facebook, like any good thing, is good only if used with self-caution and
limitations. These examples and guideline that I’m about to elaborate on could
apply to a number of things.
Do any of these apply
to you?:
~You sit in front of your screen for 3+ hours a day. If so,
odds are you are going to have some problems in your marriage, friendships,
time management, etc. Be present with people that you are with. If you are on a
date, sitting at the dinner table, out with friends, watching a movie with someone,
having a conversation, etc. etc. etc. then everything about your phone should
be off limits. This one is hard for me too =/
~You look up (stalk) people that you are angry at; former
lovers; hopeful future lovers, etc. and you poison your mind with a paranoid
soap opera, plagued by bitterness that whirls around unstable emotions.
~You, like me, you only check your notifications, or most
current feed (15 ppl at most) and use Facebook for free business advertising
(guilty...)
~You are unable to meet deadline, be productive, or drive
safely. (Nothing makes me want to lose my religion and go crazy on someone more
than to see a person texting/facebooking/instagramming/tweeting while
driving!!!!!! I won’t go there...that would be an entire blog to itself with
insurmountable statistics...)
Now, the healthy, ok, flip side to that is:
~You set a healthy time limit (on a sounding timer!) for
Facebook (or any social media/internet browsing) and you log off when your
timer goes off. (I MAKE myself do this for Pinterest!=) )
~You throw your self-parading aside and look for the hurt,
lost, & confused and make a note to pray for certain individuals on a daily
basis. (write down their names!)
~You limit yourself to only accepting friend request from
actual FRIENDS, not acquaintances, but people you were very close to in school
(this may be no more that 10-20 people) and you catch up and message on a
weekly basis--you now can know their kids and pets by name and even start
sending them a Christmas card =)
**Of course these are just healthy and unhealthy examples
that came to mind--I’m sure there's a dozen for each....oooooh!!!---just
thought of the kicker for me if you start conversations with "Did you see
on Facebook..." (Grrr....)
All of this to say that I have chosen to delete my Facebook
account, hopefully by this weekend (after I backup my pictures). Nothing crazy has happened--there's no scandal, my marriage isn’t on
the brink of ruin, I’m not punishing anyone, I just know it's my Trojan Horse
and I see the damage it can cause if I continue to let it eat away my time,
focus, energy and thoughts. Yes, it’s only an hour a day, but what else, who
else, needs me during that hour? For my fellow Christians, let’s examine and
see if Facebook (the internet in general, TV, college football, etc.) gets more
of our time than God does. If we are Updating more than we are reading, praying
and seeking His face, then it’s time to smash some idols. I, in no way, am
trying to convince anyone to follow me in my "anti-conformist
approach," I simply want to offer insight to my personal experience and
maybe perhaps inspire you to take a step back and re-evaluate where your time
is spent...what has your attention? What is your Trojan Horse? Remember, it's
the little foxes that spoil the whole vine (Song of Solomon 2:15).
No, Facebook is not the devil, but the enemy is cunning
enough to use it as a distraction--just as chocolate is not the devil, but too
much of it can lead to obesity, which leads to health problems, gluttony,
shorter life span, etc. (preaching to myself here!!!!!). All good things in
moderation. I’ve made it known that I long for the day when the internet
crashes and texting is obsolete so that we have to go back to phone calls,
personal relationships, and face to face conversations--let it be Lord! In the meantime,
I look forward to calling up my old gal pals (my only option now! :) ) and
truly reconnecting like I should have 3 years ago.
I am happy to report that I will now be blogging more!
That's where my heart is, matter-of-fact. I’ve always LOVED to write. Status
Updates and Tweets have never quenched my true thirst to write 10 page account of
my day =) If you would like to keep up with my family and I, you can find me
here (hopefully twice a month) or on Instagram. If you wish to purchase
Bohemibaby items, you can search my shop on Etsy. Thank you for your support in
this. I and look forward to increasing
my volume of readers on here! God Bless! I leave you with a quote from the
amazing C.S. Lewis:
"Good and evil increase at compound interest.
That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite
importance." (C.S. Lewis)
